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Trailing-Edge - PDP-10 Archives - walsh_goodStuff_1600 - more-games/badjok.exe
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+IH0Sassafras - Something you never do to a 500 pound fras.Old skiers never die, they just go down hill.Last night I dreampt I was a salad and tossed all night.I know a dairy farmer who tells jokes while milking the cows.@That sounds like udder nonsense to me.The invisible man married the invisible woman.@Their kids weren't much to look at either.Hear about the Pharaoh on the PGA tour? Calls himself KING PUTT!I just wrote a joke about health food. It just came naturally.Conceit - A condition arising from taking too much vitamin I"I know how to tell which way the wind is blowing," he said vainly."The whole thing sounds like a fairy tale," she said grimly."How do you keep your bagels from being stolen?" "Put lox on them."Hear about the monster rip-off? Arms, Legs, Heads....TV show about a man who gets fat when angry - The Incredible Bulk"Do you sell property here?" "Lots."Hear the joke about the bees? It's swarming the nation.What do you get when you cross a midget with a computer?@A short circuit.Why did the chef's spaghetti fall apart?@He forgot the tomato paste."As you attorney, I'm sorry I couldn't do any more for you."@"Thanks. Ten years was plenty.""You're a lawyer," Ed accused. "No I'm a barber," Sam snipped."Turn off the water!" Tom gushed.That last joke was two-thirds of a pun - P.U.Well balanced meal - a hamburger in each handWhat did the piece of pie say to the man who was about to eat him?@"Remember the a la mode."What's round and dangerous? A vicious circle."My feet hurt," Tom said flatly.@"They do?" she asked archly.@"Yes," Tom said soulfully.@"Tough," she said callously.New invention: Sandpaper suspenders for people with itchy backs.What did the midget say when his friend asked to borrow money?@"Sorry, I'm a little short myself"Knock, Knock.@Who's there?@Doris.@Doris who?@Doris closed, that's why I knocked.She has a million dollar smile. She only smiles at guys with a million dollars."Look at all the great books on plants I have."@"Where did you get them?"@"At a branch library."Behold - what one bee wrestler uses to pin another bee wrestler."Telephone operators often speak with a dial-ect.""What's the best hand for a cat to have in a poker game?" "A full mouse."Gardening - man's effort to improve his lot.Hear about the guy who came to America knowing only two words of English and made a fortune?  "Hands Up""I'm so happy I could float," Tom declared buoyantly.What do you get when you cross a vampire with a bundle of hay?@A bale o'Lugosi."What are you doing up in that chestnut tree?"  "Nuttin'"Why did the cannibal get kicked out of school?@For buttering up the teacherWhat do you call a knight in armor who jumps his horse over seven hay wagons?  Medieval KnievelWhere is the loneliest place in Louisiana?  Bayou SelfDid you hear about the fish who showed up late for work one day and got canned?Fly paper - Pilot's licenseWhat is it called when devils show off?  A demon-stration"What this team needs is a great home run hitter," Tom said ruthlessly.Did you hear that they invented an electric vampire?@It runs on bat-eries.I.O.U. - paper waitIf you need a pie filling, use that last joke. It was a lemon.Hear about the undertaker who lost his job because he made a grave mistake?"I write for a newpaper," Tom reported.  "Well I'm an editor," Sarah said cuttingly.  "And I'm a photographer," Ed snapped.What's big and hairy and flies at 1400 miles an hour?  King KongcordeDid you hear about the crossword puzzle addict who died and was buried six feet down and three feet across?Capital Punishment - Income tax.Overheard between two frogs - "Time's sure fun when you're having flies."Knock, knock.@Who's there?@Heywood, Hugh, and Harry.@Heywood, Hugh, and Harry who?@Heywood Hugh Harry up and open the door."I'm not overweight," he insisted stoutly.Inflation - condition caused by asset indigestionHear about the guy whose paintings fell on his head?  He had an art attack."I'm a great tennis player," she said faultlessly."How much extra money do I get from the bank for my deposit?" Tom asked with interest.amino acid - opposite of a nice old acidSneezing - much achoo about nothingThese jokes must be funny, I threw them into the fire and it roared.A pair of miners finally hit a big vein of gold after years of searching.  They divided the find down the middle making it the biggest bonanza split of the century."Heads I win, tails you lose," Tom said flippantly.